Oh How He Loves...

Revelation 2:2-5

2 "'I know your works, your toil and your patient endurance, and how you cannot bear with those who are evil, but have tested those who call themselves apostles and are not, and found them to be false. 3 I know you are enduring patiently and bearing up for my name's sake, and you have not grown weary. 4 But I have this against you, that you have abandoned the love you had at first. 5 Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent, and do what you did at first.

    I'm doing a study that directed readers to this passage. The subsequent questions ask for you to think back to a time in your life when you were caught in the fresh thrill of knowing and loving God. It asks what it looked like and how you could get back to that "thrill."

    I have a special circumstance, so this is my answer: (This is the post that talks about the retreat)

    I am fortunate to be studying this book now. For weeks I had been struggling with regret and bitterness. I really thought nothing could take it away until I came to a point where I could simply "let it go" and move on. I even started slipping into ruts where I was reliving low points of life. I have dealt with depression before, but didn't realize how functional I could be in rationalizing depression into something I could take in daily doses.

    I went on retreat this past weekend. The speaker taught something so SIMPLE: God's steadfast and unyielding love. I started my journey nearly a year ago. I will say that this past weekend I felt, for the first time, the comfort of His embrace. I can't stress that these words enough...

I felt Him. I heard Him speak to my heart. (Dare I say it?) I saw His glory with my own eyes.

    How amazing. I am IN the moment Jesus was talking about in Rev. 2... "the love you had a first." This is the starting point to the rest of my journey. I hope the Spirit will help me keep a firm grasp on the understanding I have NOW that God loves me like no one else can or ever could. What purity! Especially when reflected upon with the nature of my bitterness (failed attempts to find worth). I love that God knew exactly how to pry into the wall I had built up. What makes this all more amazing is that I know if I were to ever backslide and loose the feeling I have now, all I need to do is come out of hiding and He'll be waiting for me with His hand outstretched ready to pick me up no matter how far I think I've gone. That is love.